Forever Craving You: A Grudging Hearts Novel Read online

  As soon as we make another stop, she pulls me out and glances around. The hallways are filled with patients and loved ones. Doctors stride urgently past.

  Cobie’s eyes land on the sign that says ‘cafeteria’.

  She drags me there.

  Sits me around a table.

  “Talk to me.”

  I bundle up my fears, my weaknesses. Drape the cold persona around my shoulders. “Nothing to say. Rick’s a jerk, but he has what I want.”

  “What? Money?” She plants her palms on the table. Half-rises. “You’re not seriously considering that guy as a husband, are you?”

  “He said he’s changed.”

  “Like hell. You actually believe him?”

  “I don’t have a reason not to. Rick’s the best I’m ever gonna get. He’s loaded and he has no problems spending on me. He doesn’t cheat and he’s not a psychopath.”

  “He’ll just hit you every now again, right? Not a big deal.”

  I lift a shoulder.

  Stare at the tabletop.

  There’s a nacho chip next to a small puddle of water. Yellow cheese hugs the corner of the fried tortilla.

  “Chandra, I can imagine a woman in love being that delusional, but I know that’s not the case here. Why are you even entertaining him?”

  I wonder who’d been eating nachos here. Was it a kid, waiting for a sick family member? A nurse exhausted after a long shift with only enough energy to grab a quick snack?

  “Chandra!”

  “What?”

  “We both know Rick’s total trash. There’s no good reason you would ever—”

  “Money’s a good reason, okay! It’s a damn good reason.”

  Cobie sucks in a breath.

  “I’m not you, Cobie. I don’t have the patience to wait for the world to acknowledge me. I don’t have the time to build from the ground up. I’m picking the easiest path because the others will take more from me than I’m willing to give.”

  She sits. Regards me quietly. “What about Ollie?”

  My heart pinches.

  I glance up. “What about him?”

  “You love him, don’t you?”

  My mouth opens.

  Falls shut.

  I grab the prescription paper and rise. “The guys are probably wondering where we are. We should get back.”

  “Running from the truth won’t change it,” Chandra says.

  “It’s worked out so far.” I turn. Head back to the elevator.

  Cobie’s soft footsteps fall behind me.

  17 Ollie

  When Chandra and Cobie return from getting my prescription, we head to the parking lot. I return to the front seat of Teale’s Jag, but Chandra chooses to ride with Cobie and Griffin.

  I’m a little… I don’t even know how I feel about that.

  Not great.

  I’d prefer if she rode with me, even if that meant we argued the entire way back.

  She’d been reserved and subdued before we parted.

  I don’t think I said anything wrong.

  I scratch my forehead.

  Wait… did I?

  “If you sigh one more time, I’ll park the car on the side of the road and throttle you,” Teale hisses. “It’s not like Chandra’s leaving town. You’ll see her when you see her.”

  “That’s not what I’m thinking.”

  He shakes his head. “So damn clingy.”

  I shift around.

  Hard to do with my leg aching at every little movement.

  I watch my injured foot. “I guess this is karma.”

  “For what? You’ve done a lot of stupid things today.”

  “About Chandra... you were right. I should have talked to you first before…”

  My head flashes with visions of our kiss. Those plump lips chasing mine. The shocked gasp when I wrapped my fingers around her waist and pressed her up against the counter.

  Flames engulf my body.

  I can still hear her moaning from deep in her throat.

  Still feel her slender hands draping my back.

  Still taste her on my tongue—red velvet. She must have been snacking before I came.

  Damn.

  Chandra’s not mine.

  How many times do I have to remember that?

  “Before… what? Before you made out with her in front of me?” Teale’s jovial voice chases my thoughts. “It’s fine. Really.” He grins—Chandra style, the one that doesn’t reach the eyes. “I was just messing around. You know me. I’m already on to the next girl.”

  I play along to save his pride. “Sure.”

  Teale’s good at acting, but he’s not that good. I can see through him just like he can see through me. He was into Chandra. For real.

  But I can’t seem to feel bad for moving in first.

  Maybe that makes me a bastard.

  My phone rings.

  It’s Griffin.

  “Hey, bro.”

  “Hey.” The sound of wind rushing in the background tells me he’s got the windows down. “We’re heading to Brew Drop. Chandra’s freaking out because she left the store open. Then I’m taking her home.”

  My heart sinks.

  I struggle to keep the disappointment from showing in my voice. “Of course. I didn’t expect you all to come to the apartment with me.”

  “You sure? Cobie and I would still have stopped by.”

  “I’ll be fine.”

  “Alright. Text if you need anything.”

  “Thanks, man.”

  I hang up.

  Teale glances over at me. “Griffin?”

  I nod.

  “By the way,” he tilts his head, “that certified babe with him… Cobie. Is she the Cobie?”

  “The only person he’s loved since he was fifteen, yeah.”

  “Wow. He actually got the girl.” Teale arches an eyebrow, impressed.

  “Wasn’t easy, but they eventually worked it out.” I smile when I remember how much Griffin had wanted to impress Cobie. He’d refused to tell her who he really was for fear that she’d reject him.

  Back then, I told him to just go for it. Screw everything else.

  Now that I’m in his shoes, I realize that advice is easier said than done. Especially when the woman you love gets proposed to in front of your eyes.

  I sigh again.

  Teale pretends to go for my throat.

  I bat away his hand. “Focus before you get into an accident.”

  He retracts his arm and gets me home safely.

  I slowly hop up the stairs.

  Once inside, I take the meds the doctor prescribed and conk out on the couch.

  A noise from the kitchen wakes me.

  I sit up.

  Twist around.

  “Teale?”

  The noise stops.

  It’s dark.

  I’m still in the living room, but someone raised my ankle to rest on the coffee table. There’s a pillow under it and a bag of ice against it.

  I press my palms into the couch and ease forward. “Teale?”

  Footsteps patter toward me.

  They’re not heavy and thudding like my brother’s. They’re soft, quick, delicate.

  A woman.

  Chandra steps into my line of sight and I lean back, shocked. “What are you…?”

  “Teale left,” she says. As if her appearance in my apartment is completely normal.

  “Uh…”

  “Are you hungry?”

  “Did you… cook?”

  She throws her head back. Does that sultry little laugh that stirs me up. “Of course not. I wouldn’t want to kill you. I ordered soup from this place I like. Do you want me to bring it?”

  “Not yet.”

  “Okay.” She steps forward and I notice, for the first time, that she’s wearing one of my T-shirts.

  The fact delights me, probably more than it should.

  I’m not sure what exactly it is about the sight of my clothes on her curvy body—the way it drapes her c
hest, the way it stops high on her luscious thighs, the way it declares to everyone that she’s mine—but I want to make this a permanent part of my life.

  I drag my gaze up to her eyes. “I see you made yourself comfortable.”

  “Do you like it?” She takes the hem and lifts it like a skirt, exposing more skin. Exciting me. “I’ve always wanted to wear a guy’s T-shirt.”

  “This your first time?” I smirk, enjoying the thought.

  She shrugs. “I’ve never felt comfortable looking this frumpy in front of a man before.”

  Frumpy?

  The hell?

  This is the sexiest Chandra’s ever looked.

  But I keep that comment to myself.

  She struts past me, the hem of my T-shirt moving slightly with every step. Bending over, she studies my foot.

  I get an eyeful of her left butt-cheek and realize with rising discomfort that she’s not wearing tights under that thing.

  Heat prickles the back of my shoulders.

  Penetrates my blood vessels.

  Chandra’s presence is messing with me. Hard.

  Having her prancing around in my T-shirt, acting like we’re closer than we are…

  I’ve got to know what her angle is here.

  Got to know if I can have her.

  Reaching out, I snatch her wrist. Feel her racing pulse against my fingers. Her expression when she looks back at me is carefully guarded, but her body’s giving her away.

  She’s hyper-aware.

  Sensitive.

  Unable to help myself, I let my thumb rasp over the light brown underside of her wrist.

  Brown eyes dilate.

  Her voice is rough. “What?”

  “Why are you here?”

  “You don’t like it?” She points to the door with her free hand. “Should I leave?”

  I tug gently. “You know that’s not what I mean.”

  “I’m helping you.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I feel responsible. You flung yourself out of a car for me.”

  “That all?”

  She lifts her chin. Gives me a feisty look. “Is there supposed to be something more?”

  “You tell me.”

  “Tell you what?”

  “Are you getting married to Rick?”

  She tugs her hand out of mine.

  Steps back.

  I follow her with my gaze.

  She lifts her chin. “I’m thinking about it.”

  I scowl.

  She knows that’s not the answer I want to hear.

  “You’re thinking about getting married to Rick,” I say carefully, trying to make sense of it in my mind without getting pissed off at the thought, “but you’re here taking care of me while wearing my T-shirt.”

  I’m hoping if I say it calmly and slowly enough, she’ll see that it doesn’t add up.

  But she just nods. “That’s right.”

  “That’s wrong.”

  Chandra fights a smile. It glimmers in her big brown eyes. Softens the wrinkles between her eyebrows.

  Man, that smile.

  Like the sunshine emerging from a cloud.

  I get the sense that she’s enjoying messing with me.

  “What exactly about it is wrong?”

  Apart from the fact that she’d even consider rekindling something with that bastard who has zero respect for women? Plenty of things.

  She folds her arms over her chest.

  Tries to look stern.

  “You’re the one who made things complicated by kissing me.”

  “I told you. If you’re waiting for an apology, you’re wasting your time.”

  “People would call that being a jerk.”

  “At least I own it.”

  She drops one arm. Leaves the other wrapped around her torso. “Why did you kiss me, Ollie?”

  I don’t hesitate.

  Hell, I’m tired of fighting it.

  “Because I like you.”

  She blinks twice. Like she didn’t expect me to be straightforward.

  I’m done with games.

  I shrug. “It’s more than that, but ‘like’ is all I’ll admit to right now.”

  She stares into my eyes, searching for… I’m not sure what.

  “So I need to know,” I continue, “if you’re getting married to Rick.”

  Chandra steps back. I see the guard come up. “How about this? When I know the answer, I’ll tell you.”

  She’s playing around with me.

  Holding me at arms’ length.

  I grab her hand. Tug her into my lap. Revel in the little gasp that escapes her chest.

  Leaning forward, I close the distance.

  Bar her thighs with my arms so she knows…

  Play time’s over.

  18 Chandra

  Ollie’s eyes are a different shade of blue from this close up. Maybe they’ve always been that color and I’ve never taken the time to really stare him down.

  Who actually looks someone in the eyes these days?

  From afar, his irises appeared clear-blue. Captured the essence of a pristine sky free from clouds or birds or planes.

  Up-close, I see that there are black and golden flecks all around the pupil. It’s unsettling. Mesmerizing. Kind of reminds me of what the earth looks like from space. Green and blue.

  Majestic.

  Dangerous.

  Breathtaking.

  He’s surely stolen mine.

  The way he’s captured me—one muscled, tatted arm snaking over my thigh, barring me to his lap—I know escape is not an option.

  But this is what I wanted.

  To be closer to him.

  It’s why I spied his T-shirt hanging off the back of the dining room chair and pulled it on. Why I sniffed the collar and melted because it smelled exactly like him. Why I told Teale to go home and stayed here alone.

  I was hoping for this.

  Longing for it.

  Because, even if I accept Rick’s proposal, Ollie will still be on my mind. In my dreams. In my heart. And the only way to get rid of him is to turn those dreams into a reality.

  Is that really all, Chandra?

  I block the thought. Of course it is.

  One kiss isn’t enough.

  It’s too bad his ankle’s sprained. But the rest of his body is intact.

  Ollie’s legs aren’t necessary for what I have in mind tonight.

  In fact…

  I wiggle closer to him.

  Feel his reaction.

  Yup, everything’s working just fine.

  His fingers dig harder into my thigh. “I know what you’re doing.”

  “You’re the one who pulled me into your lap, Ollie.” I let my voice stay soft, seductive.

  “Tell me what I want to hear first. I don’t like to share.”

  I glance around. “Share me? It’s just us in here.”

  “I’m talking about Rick.”

  I pretend to gasp and lean closer to whisper in mock-fear, “Is he here? Is he hiding in a closet?”

  Ollie growls.

  The primal, masculine sound sends goosebumps popping over my arms.

  He’s fighting for control.

  That discipline turns me on.

  Makes me want to tease him more.

  See how far I can push him.

  Bent over his shoulder like this, I notice a tat peeping out of the back of his T-shirt and creeping up his neck. I’ve always been enamored with the ink on Ollie’s arms, but I never noticed the others.

  “You tattooed your back?” I ask, genuinely curious.

  He grunts.

  I move my entire body around until I’m straddling him. With one hand pressed into the sofa, I keep my balance. The other hand plucks at his T-shirt as I hover over him to inspect the tattoo.

  It looks like the feathers of an eagle. It’s finely detailed. At least the little of what I can see of it.

  I feel a push.

  Ollie presses me down so I’m sitting
on the edge of his knees, my thighs pushed up on either side of his legs. The T-shirt peels back, revealing the band of my underwear.

  I wonder if he notices.

  Ollie’s hardened gaze on my face tells me he does, but he’s trying not to.

  I smile. Caress his bicep. Right over the cross tattoo on his arm. “You’ve got a lot of tattoos.”

  He doesn’t say anything.

  “Did they hurt?”

  “Yes.”

  “Yes?” I chuckle. Let my hand slide down to his thighs. Toward his zipper. “Most guys would act tough and say no.”

  He snatches my wrist. Glares. “Guess I’m not ‘most guys’.”

  From the way he’s drawing this conversation out instead of letting me unbuckle his pants, I can tell that already.

  “Relax,” I chuckle. “I just want to see the rest of them.”

  He doesn’t let go of my wrist.

  “You turned your body into a canvas. Might as well show it off.”

  “I got tatted for me. Not for anyone else’s viewing pleasure. I’m not an art gallery.”

  “If you were, I would have had your shirt off by now.” I arch an eyebrow.

  He finally cracks a slight smile—one it’s clear he tried to stifle.

  It softens his eyes. Makes my heart flail like a swooning teenager.

  No, Chandra. Focus on the task at hand.

  I lean forward.

  Pin my knees into the chair so I’m straddling him again, which is a more comfortable position than when I was sitting with my thighs gaping open and my feet pressing down on uneven cushions.

  “What do I have to do to see the rest of them?”

  He leans close. Eyes darkened. “Be mine.”

  My heart thumps.

  I ignore the pull of his words, his eyes, his scent. “Want me to lie to you? Fine. I’d never consider Rick’s proposal. I absolutely hated that ring.”

  “What else?”

  I narrow my eyes. “You want more?”

  He tilts his head obviously.

  “I’m… not scared of the things you make me feel.”

  The words pop out sans my consent.

  I smack my lips together.

  But it’s too late.

  “What do I make you feel, Chandra?” He reaches out. Tucks a lock of hair behind my ear. His touch is whisper-soft, a sharp contrast to the rough texture of his fingertips.

  I lean forward.

  Pull back before I lose my control.

  “We’re not talking about me. We’re talking about you.”